i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
