He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
