Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
