FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize