Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
