A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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