She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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