Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize