Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
