What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
