i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
