five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
