Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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