That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
