They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
