Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
