im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
