I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
