My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
