My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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