Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
