I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize