arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
