Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize