we should wear snuggies to the strip club
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
