I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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