I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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