He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize