is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
