New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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