At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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