It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
