I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
