wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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