Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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