there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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