like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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