i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
