So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
