I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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