ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
