Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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