THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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