Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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