and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
