and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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