Your tits are I can't wait for
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
