I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Did I show you my penis last night?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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