So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
