I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
