I seem to have left my pride at pride
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
