Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
