True but thats because hes a fetus.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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