I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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