I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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