i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
