Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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