i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
