Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I don't think brook has ever known best
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
