thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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