that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
