Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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