Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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