Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
