yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize