Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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