what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
nutella sex= disaster
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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