There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Panties = found
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
